My Christmas wishlist 2011

With only a few days before Christmas and a hectic schedule, I can't even draft my wishlist in just one go.  Everything seems to fly so fast that I haven't even digested all the events of this year yet.

What do I really want for 2012?  Some said it will be the end of the world by then.  If that will be so, I'll have to be more concrete, and maybe a little bit more ambitious and at the same time hopeful that this list will be achieved next year.

the 13M 68 Roces townhouse

Ambitious mode:

- a car for my business

- a QC townhouse, a few minutes from the office

- Holy Land tour

- more beach trips

- a shopping escapade with unlimited budget

Reality check:

- enrollment in advanced violin class

- a superior quality violin

- schedule adjustment to accommodate marketing classes on weekdays

- gym membership

- a new pair of trainers and workout outfit
- trip to Korea with my sister

Proenza Schouler PS1 medium, the "it" satchel

I'm a material girl

- 15" Cambridge satchel in red

- Proenza Schouler PS1 medium leather in blue or orange

- Sisterhood of the Traveling pants series books

- Forever21 Hello Kitty collection

- Ipad2 wifi + 3g

Angry birds cupcake from Gooeyfudge

Simple joys:

- Chocolate oatmeal cookies

- Christmas parties with Sagip kids

- Angry birds cupcakes

- cutesy stationeries

- a bookshelf

But still, there really is nothing more I want this Christmas than my family to be complete and celebrating it together over a sumptuous noche buena lovingly prepared.  I also look forward to spending the first Christmas with the new boy in my life. Weee! excited to hug my nephew and see him clad in a Christmas-y outfit. La vita e bella! :)

Fears

"Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." 1 Chronicles 28:20

When God is something to say to us, He often seems to begin by addressing our fear. Because fear usually keeps us from hearing or responding to what God wants us to hear.  We focus on the uncertainties, the pressure, the possibilities that could happen—the mountains—and we panic.

Listen to your Lord.  He’s trying to deal with that fear that has your heart and mind so tensed up that nothing can get in there—not even God’s voice.

Like a distraught little child cuddled in a parent’s arms, let your Father reassure you that there’s nothing facing you that He can’t handle.  He has the power to deliver you from all your fears.

- an excerpt from Jon Escoto's How to Find Extraordinary Joy @ Work

The Little Prince

photo courtesy: wikipedia

 Some quotes from the book that best describe what I feel this moment:

"Les hommes ont oublié cette vérité, dit le renard. Mais tu ne dois pas l’oublier. Tu deviens responsable pour toujours de ce que tu as apprivoisé."

"Men have forgotten this truth," said the fox. "But you must not forget it. You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed." 

"Voici mon secret. Il est très simple: on ne voit bien qu'avec le cœur. L'essentiel est invisible pour les yeux "

Here is my secret. It is very simple: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye

"Mais les yeux sont aveugles. Il faut chercher avec le cœur"

But the eyes are blind. One must look with the heart

So much for taming the foxes and the roses with thorns, I feel responsible forever for the people, things, places and events I have been a part of.   

"It is the time you have wasted for your rose that makes your rose so important." 

"You know — my flower... I am responsible for her. And she is so weak! She is so naïve! She has four thorns, of no use at all, to protect herself against all the world.."

Thank you my Little Prince.

My First Bazaar

This is quite unexpected.  I never planned to join bazaars this Christmas season but the unexpected turn of events led me to signing up to a series of bazaars with my new business partners.  In fact, our partnership is quite a surprise too.  After we've worked on the charity vintage bazaar, a few of my sisters in the Singles for Christ community tapped me to join forces with them and thus the GALZ group, taken from the last letters of our names (A from Imelda, Z from Emiluz and L from Hazel).  We've added "G" to remind us that our ultimate Boss in this endeavour is God who has led us to each other.

The greatest lesson I've learned so far in this venture is to always bear in mind your objective that is not the selfish motive. There is always a deeper reason for getting into business aside from earning a living.  In this case, the GALZ girls and I share the same passion of inspiring young entrepreneurs in our community to step out of the comfort zone and finally live their dreams.  And I must say that after a few weeks of getting our hands work for our business, we've already inspired a lot of brothers and sisters in the community to try going into business aside from getting busy with our day jobs.  And in a month's time, we've already got a few business proposals, mergers and publicity support from the people in and out of the community.

I still can't say the monetary success of our efforts, but I know with the lessons we've learned from the experience, the GALZ can always venture into more profitable endeavors armed with the skills and learnings, and most of all, guided by the grace of God.

jar of hearts

i know i can’t take one more step towards you
cause all thats waiting is regret
don’t you know i’m not your ghost anymore
you lost the love i loved the most

i learned to live, half alive
and now you want me one more time

who do you think you are?
runnin’ ’round leaving scars
collecting a jar of hearts
tearing love apart
you’re gonna catch a cold
from the ice inside your soul
don’t come back for me
who do you think you are?

i hear you’re asking all around
if i am anywhere to be found
but i have grown too strong
to ever fall back in your arms

ive learned to live, half alive
and now you want me one more time

who do you think you are?
runnin’ ’round leaving scars
collecting a jar of hearts
and tearing love apart
you’re gonna catch a cold
from the ice inside your soul
don’t come back for me
who do you think you are?

it took so long just to feel alright
remember how to put back the light in my eyes
i wish i had missed the first time that we kissed
cause you broke all your promises
and now you’re back
you don’t get to get me back

who do you think you are?
running around leaving scars
collecting a jar of hearts
and tearing love apart
you’re gonna catch a cold
from the ice inside your soul
so don’t come back for me
dont come back at all

who do you think you are?
who do you think you are?
who do you think you are?

11.11.11 (unabridged)

To be honest, I waited for a long time for this day to come, perhaps hoping that something really good will happen.

Maybe I'd get to my dream destination, a grand vacation with the person I care most about.

Or how about walking the aisle to say vows with him?

Hah?!  Of course that didn't happen.  And that never will.

But then something good came out of 11.11.11.

Had a great bonding time with my friends in the church community I am in, and a very fruitful business meeting with my partners. Also had a very hearty breakfast chat with my family that morning, a rare occasion for me.

I realized, why do I keep looking for happiness elsewhere when it is actually right in front of me.  Why do I waste my time sulking in loneliness when in fact I am surrounded with loving and caring family and friends. The Lord has constantly blessed me with so many good things, some even undeserved, but I keep focusing on what I've lost that I fail to see the blessings I already have.

Knowing who esteems me high, I won't need to go searching for love somewhere else. I guess I should also give up my futile attempts to reconcile differences from the past that I know will never find their places.  

Someday, I will be complete and totally healed.  And hopefully soon, I can share myself again with someone as whole as I am.

11.11.11

SO WHAT!