The heading of my post is quite contradicting to what this really is about. Two years ago, a member of my college organization decided to end her life by jumping off the penthouse (19F) of a hotel. That was during our group's annual end-of-school-year party. So while we were all inside the conference room laughing our hearts out, she was out by the poolside, thinking deeply on how will she go through life's challenges. At her young age of 19, she got fed up with life, and committed suicide.
Everyone thought she could go places, being one of the promising visual artists in her class and one of the best in her batch in the theater guild. We never thought that her valiant persona was only a facade. Being surrounded with caring friends, also from the org, no one knew she would decide it was game over for her.
That fateful night, everyone's shocked upon hearing the news from her friend crying in hysteria. The show stopped, the laughter faded, the cheering were replaced by mourning. Being one of the Ate's in the guild, I was tasked to break the news to the family. That was the hardest bit. I was holding her mobile phone, trying to scan possible names I can contact. Even her Dad was unreachable. So I opted to contact her aunt and told her what happened as gently as I can, though I know on the other line, her heart breaks intensely.
That same year, my college group was not recognized by the Students Affairs Office and was banned to conduct activities in and out of the campus. We're sort of suspended because of that incident and with the long hiatus, more and more members disappeared as the academic year passed by.
It has been two years, and now the club's back in grind. I am glad that despite what happened, a lot of the members, mostly honararies and alumni, stayed for the guild. And now we are stronger than ever. I also wonder where this member of ours could have been now if she didn't end her life so soon.
Two years after that incident, it seems that the memory is still fresh. Thank God the trauma isn't there anymore for most of us who were there on that tragic night. Each time I think of that incident, I thank God that I have known Him because I can be like my friend. Who knows how heavy her loads were so she decided to end her life. That seemed to be the easiest way out. But knowing the Lord made me cling on to this dear life with much hope that despite the problems, a bright tomorrow awaits. It is also comforting to know that we have a God whom we can call on to whenever we are in the deepest recesses of our lives. Letting God rule my life made me acknowledge my problems and face them with courage, knowing that I can get through them even how difficult they may seem. After all, "The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you."
Forgiveness
| Labels: reflectionsFriday, March 11, 2011
In a way, forgiving is only for the brave. It is for those people who are willing to confront their pain, accept themselves as permanently changed, and make difficult choices. Countless individuals are satisfied to go on resenting and hating people who wrong them. They stew in their own inner poisons and even contaminate those around them. Forgivers, on the other hand, are not content to be stuck in a quagmire. They reject the possibility that the rest of their lives will be determined by the unjust and injurious acts of another person
-- Gordon Dalbey - Letter to the Editor, The Christian Century (November 20-7, 1991)
-- Gordon Dalbey - Letter to the Editor, The Christian Century (November 20-7, 1991)
I Stand for Life
| Labels: reflections, RH billWednesday, March 2, 2011
UST prof gives students points for anti-RH stand - Nation - GMA News Online - The go-to site for Filipinos everywhere - Latest Philippine News
With the RH Bill being a hot topic these days, I saw this article in gmanews.tv. My favorite Theology professor in college is in the hotseat right now for admitting he gave extra points to students who'll post an anti-RH bill shoutout in their Facebook wall. In Twitter and Facebook are several comments lambasting Prof. Jalin for encouraging the students to go against the controversial RH Bill. My viewpoint being a pro-life supporter, I salute him for having the courage to stand and using his influence to help the Church in letting these students realize and understand how perilous and tricky this bill is.
It took me weeks of research and attending several fora on RH bill before I finally made a stand. It pays to know the arguments of both pro and anti-RH Bill parties and after understanding fully what it is about, I am now a staunch supporter of the Catholic Church against the Reproductive Health Bill. I even followed the blog http://fightrhbill.blogspot.com/ to get updates.
And just last Sunday, I attended Jason Evert's Real Love Revolution at the SMX. He talked about not only about chastity and morality, but also touched the hot topic Reproductive Health.
I, being a woman, don't believe that RH Bill is about my health. After thorough research, I learned that contraceptives have side effects harmful to a woman like me. The way I see things, the bill is like encouraging everyone to engage in sex with just anybody anyway there are available contraceptives over the counter.
These are my thoughts, and I can confidently voice out my stand against the RH bill because I know and fully understand the bill. It is heartbreaking to know that there are some people, especially those without much education, who are standing for this bill hiding under the premise of "pro-poor" when in fact it isn't. And most of all, I don't want my hard-earned money turned tax money be spent on condoms given for free to just anyone. There are more important things we should put our focus on, like education, housing projects for the poor, infrastructure and improvement of services and facilities of government agencies, so why spend millions on the implementation of this trivial bill.
With the RH Bill being a hot topic these days, I saw this article in gmanews.tv. My favorite Theology professor in college is in the hotseat right now for admitting he gave extra points to students who'll post an anti-RH bill shoutout in their Facebook wall. In Twitter and Facebook are several comments lambasting Prof. Jalin for encouraging the students to go against the controversial RH Bill. My viewpoint being a pro-life supporter, I salute him for having the courage to stand and using his influence to help the Church in letting these students realize and understand how perilous and tricky this bill is.
It took me weeks of research and attending several fora on RH bill before I finally made a stand. It pays to know the arguments of both pro and anti-RH Bill parties and after understanding fully what it is about, I am now a staunch supporter of the Catholic Church against the Reproductive Health Bill. I even followed the blog http://fightrhbill.blogspot.com/ to get updates.
And just last Sunday, I attended Jason Evert's Real Love Revolution at the SMX. He talked about not only about chastity and morality, but also touched the hot topic Reproductive Health.
I, being a woman, don't believe that RH Bill is about my health. After thorough research, I learned that contraceptives have side effects harmful to a woman like me. The way I see things, the bill is like encouraging everyone to engage in sex with just anybody anyway there are available contraceptives over the counter.
These are my thoughts, and I can confidently voice out my stand against the RH bill because I know and fully understand the bill. It is heartbreaking to know that there are some people, especially those without much education, who are standing for this bill hiding under the premise of "pro-poor" when in fact it isn't. And most of all, I don't want my hard-earned money turned tax money be spent on condoms given for free to just anyone. There are more important things we should put our focus on, like education, housing projects for the poor, infrastructure and improvement of services and facilities of government agencies, so why spend millions on the implementation of this trivial bill.
Love and Music
| Labels: 2011, bach, love, music, reflections, violin, violin recitalThursday, February 10, 2011
My violin teacher announced the dates of the assessment and recital. I should be nervous. But I am not, really.
I am in fact thankful I have a lot of time to practice. Though I will play happy tunes for the recital, contrary to what I’m feeling right now, I welcome it as a good balance to my lovelife’s traumatic aftermath. And at least there is something to be excited about. This March, I will walk up the stage again to perform in front of fellow musicians, hoping I’d do better the second time around. Less pressure since I don’t expect any fans or well-wishers to attend my recital. But of course, I’d love to see someone holding out a bouquet for me after the performance *wish*. The whole Abelardo Hall will light up a thousand twinkling lights, like it’s just him and me there, not minding the teachers and other students gathered in the auditorium. That’s so magical! Then poof! Back to reality. I shouldn’t expect so much, I’d just enjoy every minute of the recital.
The jitters are different from that I get everytime I have a theatrical performance. And this is not the first time I’d step into the limelight with a broken heart. The last time, I even got a best actress nomination.
What does that tell me? Relishing this current state of aloneness gives me more time to focus on my craft. I should not be distracted by the past, and the upcoming romantic interests especially now. I should get my priorities straight. I need to regain every inch of self esteem I lost. And I hope this performance is going to help me a lot.
I am in fact thankful I have a lot of time to practice. Though I will play happy tunes for the recital, contrary to what I’m feeling right now, I welcome it as a good balance to my lovelife’s traumatic aftermath. And at least there is something to be excited about. This March, I will walk up the stage again to perform in front of fellow musicians, hoping I’d do better the second time around. Less pressure since I don’t expect any fans or well-wishers to attend my recital. But of course, I’d love to see someone holding out a bouquet for me after the performance *wish*. The whole Abelardo Hall will light up a thousand twinkling lights, like it’s just him and me there, not minding the teachers and other students gathered in the auditorium. That’s so magical! Then poof! Back to reality. I shouldn’t expect so much, I’d just enjoy every minute of the recital.
The jitters are different from that I get everytime I have a theatrical performance. And this is not the first time I’d step into the limelight with a broken heart. The last time, I even got a best actress nomination.
What does that tell me? Relishing this current state of aloneness gives me more time to focus on my craft. I should not be distracted by the past, and the upcoming romantic interests especially now. I should get my priorities straight. I need to regain every inch of self esteem I lost. And I hope this performance is going to help me a lot.
The Project Green Mind
| Labels: 2011, gifts, loveTuesday, January 11, 2011
7 days
6 boxes of paper clips sorted
5 bookstores rummaged
4 malls explored
3 department stores searched
2 big bags filled
and 1 sweet diva
This is what I call so cheesy.
Anyway, here's the result of my Project Green Mind
6 boxes of paper clips sorted
5 bookstores rummaged
4 malls explored
3 department stores searched
2 big bags filled
and 1 sweet diva
This is what I call so cheesy.
Anyway, here's the result of my Project Green Mind
 | ||
| my Project Green Mind collage. All Green, all Fresh! :)
|
welcome 2011
| Labels: 2010, 2011, careers, planners, reflections, shoppingTuesday, December 28, 2010
The year is coming to a close and still there are things I should do before 2010 ends:
- get a haircut. I'd like to have my short pixie bob again
- manicure, pedicure and foot spa. Since I've been so busy these days, I miss going to the manicurista so much.
- get myself a 2011 planner. Thanks to May who's giving me Starbucks booklets with stickers. I only need to get a few peppermint mochas to have the planner. Can't wait.
- buy a 2011 Companion journal. This has helped me in my prayertime so much that I'd like to continue it this 2010.
- desk and mobile ped cleaning. I started cleaning my desk already since I'm moving to a new cube this week.
- de-clutter. I need to do a great closet cleanup.
- buy a new pair of sturdy flats. But this can wait until next year.
- do a cosmetics inventory. I must to throw away those expired make-up in my kikay kit
- draft my 2011 business and career plan. This should be on top of my list. I want 2011 to be the year for my business so I'd better carefully map out my plan. Also, with the new and tougher assignment, I should prep myself before coming to work on January.
Now that I have my checklist, I think I can finish everything before the year ends.
Timecheck: It's only 3 days to go before 2011. Good luck to me! :P
- get a haircut. I'd like to have my short pixie bob again
- manicure, pedicure and foot spa. Since I've been so busy these days, I miss going to the manicurista so much.
- get myself a 2011 planner. Thanks to May who's giving me Starbucks booklets with stickers. I only need to get a few peppermint mochas to have the planner. Can't wait.
- buy a 2011 Companion journal. This has helped me in my prayertime so much that I'd like to continue it this 2010.
- desk and mobile ped cleaning. I started cleaning my desk already since I'm moving to a new cube this week.
- de-clutter. I need to do a great closet cleanup.
- buy a new pair of sturdy flats. But this can wait until next year.
- do a cosmetics inventory. I must to throw away those expired make-up in my kikay kit
- draft my 2011 business and career plan. This should be on top of my list. I want 2011 to be the year for my business so I'd better carefully map out my plan. Also, with the new and tougher assignment, I should prep myself before coming to work on January.
Now that I have my checklist, I think I can finish everything before the year ends.
Timecheck: It's only 3 days to go before 2011. Good luck to me! :P
Christmas is in the air -- random musings again
| Labels: christmas, Facebook, gifts, music, shopping, violinThursday, December 23, 2010
Call me the Grinch but really I loathe the Christmas rush. I get so stressed out walking around the mall trying to find the perfect gifts that are within my measly budget. Most of my friends know I’m a certified mall rat but in seasons like Christmas, the mall is the last place on earth I want to be. As early as November, I have my gift list but I always end up cramming. Last year, I promised myself I will not go on a last minute Christmas shopping. And obviously, I broke that promise this year. *sigh*
On a brighter side, I got my loved-ones really cute yet inexpensive gifts. I’m so proud of myself that I got everything on my list in only three days (or three trips to the mall/bazaar). I already started distributing gifts to my office friends, family, relatives and some godchildren. But I have yet to get a dear friend a gift. Hmm… haven’t talked to him for a long time. Maybe the best gift I can give him, aside from the tangibles, is my sincere forgiveness and acceptance.
Since the start of December, I’ve been playing Christmas songs in the office to uplift our mood. In my playlist are the classics from the Carpenters and Mariah Carey. I recently downloaded Backstreet Boys’ Christmas Time and Wham’s Last Christmas, my cubemate Razie’s favourites. And just last week, I loaded my iPod with Trans Siberian Orchestra Christmas albums The Christmas Attic, Beethoven’s Last Night and Christmas Eve and Other Stories. These are not your usual mainstream Christmas music, as the names imply. Among the songs, I love the Christmas Canon Rock based on Pachelbel’s Canon played back-to-back with rock version of O Holy Night. Someday, I’d love to be a part of a great orchestra playing rocking music like Trans Siberian’s.
In violin class, we started playing Christmas tunes since the opening of the semester. This year, we played Jolly Old Nicholas and Good King Wenceslas. And because we’re a cluster of three students, each of us got to play melody (violin A in A string), violin B (in D string) and violin C (in G string). Last year, we played Joy to the World and O Come All Ye Faithful in violin solo. In our Christmas party in Singles for Christ, I performed a rough violin solo of Silent Night. I’m so glad that my December is so filled with quality time with my darling Ivy.
Good thing about Christmas is reconnecting with friends. Recently, my long-time BFF Direk Beautiful PM’d me in Facebook his new mobile number. I’m so thrilled to finally be in touch with him. Last week, I had lunch with my old buddy Anabee at Buddy’s. She just came from a long vacation and so we did a lot of catching up with each other’s stories. Her sister just came from Holland and she gave me a Dutch couple ceramic keychain that is so cute I attached it to the clutch bag I always bring to lunch.
Wow, my December is really filled! I feel so blessed that even with my busy schedule, I still have time to pause and connect with the Lord, the real reason for this season. Merry Christmas everyone!
On a brighter side, I got my loved-ones really cute yet inexpensive gifts. I’m so proud of myself that I got everything on my list in only three days (or three trips to the mall/bazaar). I already started distributing gifts to my office friends, family, relatives and some godchildren. But I have yet to get a dear friend a gift. Hmm… haven’t talked to him for a long time. Maybe the best gift I can give him, aside from the tangibles, is my sincere forgiveness and acceptance.
Since the start of December, I’ve been playing Christmas songs in the office to uplift our mood. In my playlist are the classics from the Carpenters and Mariah Carey. I recently downloaded Backstreet Boys’ Christmas Time and Wham’s Last Christmas, my cubemate Razie’s favourites. And just last week, I loaded my iPod with Trans Siberian Orchestra Christmas albums The Christmas Attic, Beethoven’s Last Night and Christmas Eve and Other Stories. These are not your usual mainstream Christmas music, as the names imply. Among the songs, I love the Christmas Canon Rock based on Pachelbel’s Canon played back-to-back with rock version of O Holy Night. Someday, I’d love to be a part of a great orchestra playing rocking music like Trans Siberian’s.
In violin class, we started playing Christmas tunes since the opening of the semester. This year, we played Jolly Old Nicholas and Good King Wenceslas. And because we’re a cluster of three students, each of us got to play melody (violin A in A string), violin B (in D string) and violin C (in G string). Last year, we played Joy to the World and O Come All Ye Faithful in violin solo. In our Christmas party in Singles for Christ, I performed a rough violin solo of Silent Night. I’m so glad that my December is so filled with quality time with my darling Ivy.
Good thing about Christmas is reconnecting with friends. Recently, my long-time BFF Direk Beautiful PM’d me in Facebook his new mobile number. I’m so thrilled to finally be in touch with him. Last week, I had lunch with my old buddy Anabee at Buddy’s. She just came from a long vacation and so we did a lot of catching up with each other’s stories. Her sister just came from Holland and she gave me a Dutch couple ceramic keychain that is so cute I attached it to the clutch bag I always bring to lunch.
Wow, my December is really filled! I feel so blessed that even with my busy schedule, I still have time to pause and connect with the Lord, the real reason for this season. Merry Christmas everyone!
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