Im surprised at my morning prayer today. I don't know where it came from but it seems to have sprung from the deepest recess of my heart.
It's funny that the first person i thought of the moment I woke up today is the guy I've been crushing on for almost 2months now. I've met him way way back and never saw him the way i see him now until we got close, became seatmates and chatted for a short yet sensible moment. That was like, my sleeping heart leapt from deep slumber. After that first encounter, i tried to erase every memory of him, still scared to entertain thoughts of a possible lovelife since i just came from a major heartbreak. But destiny is really playing on me. As time went by we became closer and closer, and i got to realize that we have so much in common. And i am even surprised that i can be myself around him: i can chat all day at any topic and goof around without reservation. The tough girl that I am didnt even hesitate to get out of my shell when i am near him.
As i relish this new found friendship, ironically, i pray that my feelings for him would eventually fade. If this person isn't meant to stay long in my life, I hope he'd just go while still in this early stage. After several failed relationships, i don't want this to be another failure. So before I totally fall in love with this person, i pray that I may be given the courage to simply walk away.
Change
| Labels: reflectionsTuesday, April 12, 2011
People and things change constantly. And sometimes, these changes cause people to drift apart.
Through the years I've seen changes as they affect me. Moving out of an old neighborhood, taking a new job, death and losing a loved-one. Changes, both positive and negative, contribute to who you are at present.
I've gone a lot of change myself, coping with gains and losses in this life. In every decision or undertaking, there is change.
Feelings, like our surroundings, change. The people who you esteem so high before may be the person you least admire now. Couples break apart because of certain "change of heart". People go astray when there is a shift in priorities.
As change affect me, either positively or negatively, I know I shouldn't fret. Somewhere, someone or something is also changing for me. Changing to fit my needs perfectly.
And amidst these changes, there is one thing I can count on: the Love of God is constant .
leader
| Labels: prayer, reflectionsFriday, March 25, 2011
The challenge of leadership is to be strong, but not rude; be kind, but not weak; be bold, but not a bully; be thoughtful, but not lazy; be humble, but not timid; be proud, but not arrogant; have humor, but without folly. ---Jim Rohn
This week in our household, we discussed the traits that we look for in a leader. And here are our ideals:
consistent
- practices what he preaches
persistent
- and persevering
flexible
- can adapt to different personalities in the group he is handling
happy
- not grumpy; diffuses fumes of happiness in the group
open
- openness to suggestions and being able to put himself in the shoes of other people
genuine
- can tell you point-blank what's good and bad in you
sincere
- can communicate with you with utmost sincerity, can emphatize at your highest and lowest moments
humble
- leadership is service
not self-centered
- thinks not only of his own welfare but also of others. Can sacrifice for the group.
Now that a lot of us are being called to be leaders, I hope that when it's my turn to be one, I can be guided by these points so that I can be the best person I can be.
This week in our household, we discussed the traits that we look for in a leader. And here are our ideals:
consistent
- practices what he preaches
persistent
- and persevering
flexible
- can adapt to different personalities in the group he is handling
happy
- not grumpy; diffuses fumes of happiness in the group
open
- openness to suggestions and being able to put himself in the shoes of other people
genuine
- can tell you point-blank what's good and bad in you
sincere
- can communicate with you with utmost sincerity, can emphatize at your highest and lowest moments
humble
- leadership is service
not self-centered
- thinks not only of his own welfare but also of others. Can sacrifice for the group.
Now that a lot of us are being called to be leaders, I hope that when it's my turn to be one, I can be guided by these points so that I can be the best person I can be.
Life is Beautiful
| Labels: reflections
The heading of my post is quite contradicting to what this really is about. Two years ago, a member of my college organization decided to end her life by jumping off the penthouse (19F) of a hotel. That was during our group's annual end-of-school-year party. So while we were all inside the conference room laughing our hearts out, she was out by the poolside, thinking deeply on how will she go through life's challenges. At her young age of 19, she got fed up with life, and committed suicide.
Everyone thought she could go places, being one of the promising visual artists in her class and one of the best in her batch in the theater guild. We never thought that her valiant persona was only a facade. Being surrounded with caring friends, also from the org, no one knew she would decide it was game over for her.
That fateful night, everyone's shocked upon hearing the news from her friend crying in hysteria. The show stopped, the laughter faded, the cheering were replaced by mourning. Being one of the Ate's in the guild, I was tasked to break the news to the family. That was the hardest bit. I was holding her mobile phone, trying to scan possible names I can contact. Even her Dad was unreachable. So I opted to contact her aunt and told her what happened as gently as I can, though I know on the other line, her heart breaks intensely.
That same year, my college group was not recognized by the Students Affairs Office and was banned to conduct activities in and out of the campus. We're sort of suspended because of that incident and with the long hiatus, more and more members disappeared as the academic year passed by.
It has been two years, and now the club's back in grind. I am glad that despite what happened, a lot of the members, mostly honararies and alumni, stayed for the guild. And now we are stronger than ever. I also wonder where this member of ours could have been now if she didn't end her life so soon.
Two years after that incident, it seems that the memory is still fresh. Thank God the trauma isn't there anymore for most of us who were there on that tragic night. Each time I think of that incident, I thank God that I have known Him because I can be like my friend. Who knows how heavy her loads were so she decided to end her life. That seemed to be the easiest way out. But knowing the Lord made me cling on to this dear life with much hope that despite the problems, a bright tomorrow awaits. It is also comforting to know that we have a God whom we can call on to whenever we are in the deepest recesses of our lives. Letting God rule my life made me acknowledge my problems and face them with courage, knowing that I can get through them even how difficult they may seem. After all, "The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you."
Everyone thought she could go places, being one of the promising visual artists in her class and one of the best in her batch in the theater guild. We never thought that her valiant persona was only a facade. Being surrounded with caring friends, also from the org, no one knew she would decide it was game over for her.
That fateful night, everyone's shocked upon hearing the news from her friend crying in hysteria. The show stopped, the laughter faded, the cheering were replaced by mourning. Being one of the Ate's in the guild, I was tasked to break the news to the family. That was the hardest bit. I was holding her mobile phone, trying to scan possible names I can contact. Even her Dad was unreachable. So I opted to contact her aunt and told her what happened as gently as I can, though I know on the other line, her heart breaks intensely.
That same year, my college group was not recognized by the Students Affairs Office and was banned to conduct activities in and out of the campus. We're sort of suspended because of that incident and with the long hiatus, more and more members disappeared as the academic year passed by.
It has been two years, and now the club's back in grind. I am glad that despite what happened, a lot of the members, mostly honararies and alumni, stayed for the guild. And now we are stronger than ever. I also wonder where this member of ours could have been now if she didn't end her life so soon.
Two years after that incident, it seems that the memory is still fresh. Thank God the trauma isn't there anymore for most of us who were there on that tragic night. Each time I think of that incident, I thank God that I have known Him because I can be like my friend. Who knows how heavy her loads were so she decided to end her life. That seemed to be the easiest way out. But knowing the Lord made me cling on to this dear life with much hope that despite the problems, a bright tomorrow awaits. It is also comforting to know that we have a God whom we can call on to whenever we are in the deepest recesses of our lives. Letting God rule my life made me acknowledge my problems and face them with courage, knowing that I can get through them even how difficult they may seem. After all, "The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you."
Forgiveness
| Labels: reflectionsFriday, March 11, 2011
In a way, forgiving is only for the brave. It is for those people who are willing to confront their pain, accept themselves as permanently changed, and make difficult choices. Countless individuals are satisfied to go on resenting and hating people who wrong them. They stew in their own inner poisons and even contaminate those around them. Forgivers, on the other hand, are not content to be stuck in a quagmire. They reject the possibility that the rest of their lives will be determined by the unjust and injurious acts of another person
-- Gordon Dalbey - Letter to the Editor, The Christian Century (November 20-7, 1991)
-- Gordon Dalbey - Letter to the Editor, The Christian Century (November 20-7, 1991)
I Stand for Life
| Labels: reflections, RH billWednesday, March 2, 2011
UST prof gives students points for anti-RH stand - Nation - GMA News Online - The go-to site for Filipinos everywhere - Latest Philippine News
With the RH Bill being a hot topic these days, I saw this article in gmanews.tv. My favorite Theology professor in college is in the hotseat right now for admitting he gave extra points to students who'll post an anti-RH bill shoutout in their Facebook wall. In Twitter and Facebook are several comments lambasting Prof. Jalin for encouraging the students to go against the controversial RH Bill. My viewpoint being a pro-life supporter, I salute him for having the courage to stand and using his influence to help the Church in letting these students realize and understand how perilous and tricky this bill is.
It took me weeks of research and attending several fora on RH bill before I finally made a stand. It pays to know the arguments of both pro and anti-RH Bill parties and after understanding fully what it is about, I am now a staunch supporter of the Catholic Church against the Reproductive Health Bill. I even followed the blog http://fightrhbill.blogspot.com/ to get updates.
And just last Sunday, I attended Jason Evert's Real Love Revolution at the SMX. He talked about not only about chastity and morality, but also touched the hot topic Reproductive Health.
I, being a woman, don't believe that RH Bill is about my health. After thorough research, I learned that contraceptives have side effects harmful to a woman like me. The way I see things, the bill is like encouraging everyone to engage in sex with just anybody anyway there are available contraceptives over the counter.
These are my thoughts, and I can confidently voice out my stand against the RH bill because I know and fully understand the bill. It is heartbreaking to know that there are some people, especially those without much education, who are standing for this bill hiding under the premise of "pro-poor" when in fact it isn't. And most of all, I don't want my hard-earned money turned tax money be spent on condoms given for free to just anyone. There are more important things we should put our focus on, like education, housing projects for the poor, infrastructure and improvement of services and facilities of government agencies, so why spend millions on the implementation of this trivial bill.
With the RH Bill being a hot topic these days, I saw this article in gmanews.tv. My favorite Theology professor in college is in the hotseat right now for admitting he gave extra points to students who'll post an anti-RH bill shoutout in their Facebook wall. In Twitter and Facebook are several comments lambasting Prof. Jalin for encouraging the students to go against the controversial RH Bill. My viewpoint being a pro-life supporter, I salute him for having the courage to stand and using his influence to help the Church in letting these students realize and understand how perilous and tricky this bill is.
It took me weeks of research and attending several fora on RH bill before I finally made a stand. It pays to know the arguments of both pro and anti-RH Bill parties and after understanding fully what it is about, I am now a staunch supporter of the Catholic Church against the Reproductive Health Bill. I even followed the blog http://fightrhbill.blogspot.com/ to get updates.
And just last Sunday, I attended Jason Evert's Real Love Revolution at the SMX. He talked about not only about chastity and morality, but also touched the hot topic Reproductive Health.
I, being a woman, don't believe that RH Bill is about my health. After thorough research, I learned that contraceptives have side effects harmful to a woman like me. The way I see things, the bill is like encouraging everyone to engage in sex with just anybody anyway there are available contraceptives over the counter.
These are my thoughts, and I can confidently voice out my stand against the RH bill because I know and fully understand the bill. It is heartbreaking to know that there are some people, especially those without much education, who are standing for this bill hiding under the premise of "pro-poor" when in fact it isn't. And most of all, I don't want my hard-earned money turned tax money be spent on condoms given for free to just anyone. There are more important things we should put our focus on, like education, housing projects for the poor, infrastructure and improvement of services and facilities of government agencies, so why spend millions on the implementation of this trivial bill.
Love and Music
| Labels: 2011, bach, love, music, reflections, violin, violin recitalThursday, February 10, 2011
My violin teacher announced the dates of the assessment and recital. I should be nervous. But I am not, really.
I am in fact thankful I have a lot of time to practice. Though I will play happy tunes for the recital, contrary to what I’m feeling right now, I welcome it as a good balance to my lovelife’s traumatic aftermath. And at least there is something to be excited about. This March, I will walk up the stage again to perform in front of fellow musicians, hoping I’d do better the second time around. Less pressure since I don’t expect any fans or well-wishers to attend my recital. But of course, I’d love to see someone holding out a bouquet for me after the performance *wish*. The whole Abelardo Hall will light up a thousand twinkling lights, like it’s just him and me there, not minding the teachers and other students gathered in the auditorium. That’s so magical! Then poof! Back to reality. I shouldn’t expect so much, I’d just enjoy every minute of the recital.
The jitters are different from that I get everytime I have a theatrical performance. And this is not the first time I’d step into the limelight with a broken heart. The last time, I even got a best actress nomination.
What does that tell me? Relishing this current state of aloneness gives me more time to focus on my craft. I should not be distracted by the past, and the upcoming romantic interests especially now. I should get my priorities straight. I need to regain every inch of self esteem I lost. And I hope this performance is going to help me a lot.
I am in fact thankful I have a lot of time to practice. Though I will play happy tunes for the recital, contrary to what I’m feeling right now, I welcome it as a good balance to my lovelife’s traumatic aftermath. And at least there is something to be excited about. This March, I will walk up the stage again to perform in front of fellow musicians, hoping I’d do better the second time around. Less pressure since I don’t expect any fans or well-wishers to attend my recital. But of course, I’d love to see someone holding out a bouquet for me after the performance *wish*. The whole Abelardo Hall will light up a thousand twinkling lights, like it’s just him and me there, not minding the teachers and other students gathered in the auditorium. That’s so magical! Then poof! Back to reality. I shouldn’t expect so much, I’d just enjoy every minute of the recital.
The jitters are different from that I get everytime I have a theatrical performance. And this is not the first time I’d step into the limelight with a broken heart. The last time, I even got a best actress nomination.
What does that tell me? Relishing this current state of aloneness gives me more time to focus on my craft. I should not be distracted by the past, and the upcoming romantic interests especially now. I should get my priorities straight. I need to regain every inch of self esteem I lost. And I hope this performance is going to help me a lot.
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