Love and Music

My violin teacher announced the dates of the assessment and recital. I should be nervous. But I am not, really.

I am in fact thankful I have a lot of time to practice. Though I will play happy tunes for the recital, contrary to what I’m feeling right now, I welcome it as a good balance to my lovelife’s traumatic aftermath. And at least there is something to be excited about. This March, I will walk up the stage again to perform in front of fellow musicians, hoping I’d do better the second time around. Less pressure since I don’t expect any fans or well-wishers to attend my recital. But of course, I’d love to see someone holding out a bouquet for me after the performance *wish*. The whole Abelardo Hall will light up a thousand twinkling lights, like it’s just him and me there, not minding the teachers and other students gathered in the auditorium. That’s so magical! Then poof! Back to reality. I shouldn’t expect so much, I’d just enjoy every minute of the recital.

The jitters are different from that I get everytime I have a theatrical performance. And this is not the first time I’d step into the limelight with a broken heart. The last time, I even got a best actress nomination.

What does that tell me? Relishing this current state of aloneness gives me more time to focus on my craft. I should not be distracted by the past, and the upcoming romantic interests especially now. I should get my priorities straight. I need to regain every inch of self esteem I lost. And I hope this performance is going to help me a lot.